INTO THE SURRENDER

Tick tock, tick tock,

My mind moves so fast.

My heart moves so slow.

It takes too long, to let go.

I feel young,

and old.

That hasn’t changed,

as the years go.

My soul outside time,

watches me.

Tells me,

my body grows old.

What is time?

I don’t know,

anymore.

In the mirror,

my image changes.

I am me,

in different stages.

Will I ever be a mother,

one that gives birth. 

Will I ever realize,

the dreams of my youth?

Waiting,

that terrible feeling.

Stuck,

while the rest  of the universe is moving. 

I try to stop it all, 

to catch up.

My heart can be so slow,

even when,

it’s cooperating. 

Part of me is eternal,

part of me is breathless.

I know time matters,

To it I’m helpless.

I’ll choose to be grateful.

I’ll choose to fill my time,

with kindness.

I’ll choose to float,

on the waves of thoughts.

I’ll journey as far as I can go.

I’ll rest, every chance I get,

and not regret that,

at all.

It would be nice, 

to feel loved sometime.

Time is meaningless.

Time is precious.

Take your time.

Resting on the waters,

of the tide.

You will get there.

It’s a journey to explore,

not to control. 

I will take my time.

Forget about time.

Just float,

with gratitude.

INTO THE TURN

I used to rely on my heart.

It was good in turning

against those who hurt me. 

But now,

it’s turned too soft.

When I was hoping,

it would protect me.

It’s good to let go of hurt.

But you take advantage,

of how I choose to stay kind,

to you.

So I will also,

to myself,

be kinder.

INTO THE COCOON

A bird was made to fly.

But first it needs to learn,

how to.

You were made to roam,

the vast universe,

with your mind and spirit.

But first you need to learn,

how to.

Instead of learning to roam,

we all learn,

not to.

I want to unlearn that,

and really go on,

to journey.

Every time I try,

what I feel distracts me.

My tears start running,

they try to wash me.

My body starts shaking,

it tries to unbound me.

I wish I had the help,

to remind me.

We were all made to roam.

Our beloved bodies are homes,

not prisons. 

So let’s not settle for that.

Unless we really,

have to.

INTO THE CHOICE

Were you thinking,

you broke my heart?

I bet you didn't know,

it was already in pieces.

The trick was going to be,

making it whole.

At the fork of my path,

I will not follow the herd.

In the footsteps of the few,

I'll take the grand leap.

My heart in pieces has opened its eyes.

Now my faith is not blind.

You've sat in class,

heard the lessons.

Will you take life's test,

and succeed?

It wouldn't be a bigger life,

if you didn't risk everything.

INTO THE SILENCE

Colors and numbers.

Colors and numbers.

Enough with words.

Enough with names.

And their powers.

I want to bathe in the silence.

Dive into the water.

Wash away,

faces in my mind.

Colors are all I need.

They wash over me.

Teal.

Blue.

Aquamarine.

My salvation.

White.

Black.

Light swirling.

My real life partner.

Colors wash my world.

I love numbers.

The beautiful order.

The comfort.

I can trust.

I can understand.

Numbers fill the world with laughter.

Colors and numbers.

Numbers.

Music inside my mind.

Colors.

Flashes inside my soul.

I can find peace.

Let my heart sleep.

Deepen the silence.

Colors and numbers.

Colors and numbers.

Colors and numbers.

INTO THE LESSON

Hope is like the sun.
A daily dose,
keeps you healthy.
Warm.
Stay in it too long,
it will burn you.

Stare at it,

it will blind you.

Disappointment,

one of the better outcomes.

Losing hope,

could be a lot worse.

Hope is like the sun.

If I spend the day hoping,

it burns too much.

Drunk on hope,

I soar.

Then, reality strikes.

I'll keep hope only,

for a few hours.

But what do I do,

the rest of the day?

Distraction?

Giving up?

Hope is like the sun.

Take it in,

in moderation.

Surrender,

the rest of the time. 

Will hope keep you 

from moving on?

Hope and acceptance,

wrapped up in one,

a balancing act,

made for the masters.

How am I ever,

going to be one?

One can keep trying.

One day at a time.

INTO THE WAVES

Today, I came prepared.

For days the sea has slammed me with raging waves.

One after one.

Today, the words I read were hard to understand.

A message from a thousand years ago.

A few pages.

Done so fast.

Little did I know, 

My soul was reading a lot more.

Now, I can hear the sea.

Asking, what did I come for?

Alone in the raging waters,

The sea demanded: 

Identify yourself!

It wanted to know.

I didn’t have the answers, I thought.

But my soul spoke.

The words of our long training, from before.

The words of the “Shahada” in my core,

Singing in my mind,

With love and joy, 

Enough to fill the whole world.

The sea gave back,

Love and softness.

The calm waters attracted the crowd in.

Those who came close, made me smile and joke.

I felt so loved by the sea.

I couldn’t step out and go.

For hours the sea spoke,

Wanting to teach me,

Something that it knows.

I will need it, where I will go.

Those who warn that the sea has no friends,

I don’t believe them anymore.

INTO THE WILD

Horses are beautiful creatures.

They have such grace.

You don't tame a horse by beating it.

You tame a horse by making it feel safe.

I have so much in common with horses.

I want to run,

Feel safe,

Be free and wandering, 

In the company of love and peace.

I've never been one to be afraid.

But I always want to run and avoid.

I've regretted every time I used my horns.

Maybe that is why I suffer.

I'm a bull that aspires to be a horse.

Is it possible that I can be both?

Don't let my unusual strength, 

and horns fool you.

Yes, they can hurt without much effort.

But I've no interest in that.

I just want to be.

I'm not a horse, 

I never will be.

And though people rarely,

Show love or appreciation,

Even when I most need them,

They always want to use me.

I'm as useful as a creature was ever made to be.

My beauty is mine, 

In its magnificence.

Look deep into my big dark eyes.

Can't you see?

I deserve to be loved and wanted.

I was made for it.

It will come to me.

INTO THE EMPATHY

Too many images.

Too many sounds.

Too many people appearing without an invite.

The mind of the empath is crowded.

Without its strength, it's useless and wandering.

Distances are meaningless.

And the world is only getting more connected.

May you have peace,

and love,

those miracles that help us all survive.

 

INTO THE MOMENT

It's called, the present, because it's a gift

To synchronicity, the food package, with this writing on it, was contributing

I am alive, I can breathe the wind, and the roof is doing a good job

Parents, friends, and the job's biweekly paycheck, I'm grateful for a lot

Yet, I feel like my life is falling apart

I had wished for changes, I dreamed them till they were real in my mind

I was supposed to stay happy till they actually came around

But then came the moment

The present is complicated

After all, it is happening all the time

I tried ruling the moment

That climax that never ends

Instead of bringing more, I have wrecked what I got

You have to let go to make room to receive

For some reason, I imagined a smooth transition and changes that come softly

I didn't realize what helped me hold on would be taken unwillingly

The moment doesn't have what I leaned on in the past, or what I wanted in the future

I'm firmly standing in the middle of it

I don't dare to dream ahead, while standing in the wreckage of what was

It hurts too much to think of what I wanted, and I'm supposed to keep it up and positive

The dream that sent me to heaven is now dangerous

The moment is complicated, or perhaps I'm the one who is

I still believe the only way through is forward

To the present, I apologize to you ahead

It's you that I will choose to forget

In other circles, that doesn't sound very healthy or sound

Don't blame it on me

Blame it on the law of attraction, and what it says I have to do, to be aligned

I'll follow this road for a while longer, and trust

Who knows, I think at the end of it, the present will be found

INTO THE SUDDEN CHANGE

The ship has sailed.

I didn't know I was boarding it.

I just found myself aboard.

I let go of the ropes I had to the land.

As everything I longed to see started to get smaller in the distance.

I told my heart not to speak.

This is not the time for any of its words.

I want to be brave.

It's a choice, that I want to make.

I want to let that pride go.

Give it up with all the stress and anxiety that it has brought.

So much more has gone with that trade.

Much more than I bargained for.

 

Did I really know love?

Or was it all imagined in my mind?

I only see water everywhere around me.

The tide and high waves speak volumes,

to any thoughts or attempts to fight.

Now, all is lost, all is gone.

I can keep what I carry, like I have always done.

It is that time, to move on.

My poor heart, you will have to break in silence.

We can both cry together later,

when the waters have quieted down.

Today, we're still trying to give up.

Tomorrow, after a good night of sleep and rest,

we will find peace, and we will accept.

I'll get to go through what I carried,

and to the sea, a lot more of it, will be lost.

I have magic within me.

The waters and moon will let it grow.

My heart, we will travel the universe, 

and its wonders, will wipe your tears, and heal your scars.

The sweet surrender, with some trust now, will be ours.

We're bound to run into land again.

It's time to get some rest while we can.

INTO THE EMBRACE

They say there's nothing like love

But within love there's a road

You think you've reached the end when you get to a station

Just to see it goes on and on

Sometimes you can see the next station

Recognize the magnificence of its placement and elevation

The road looks hard to climb

You long to know what more is there

You wonder about the stations beyond

The ones you can't see

Are they really there?

You wonder if it's all true

if it's worth it

if it's time that you dare

If you put the question out there

The answer will come

You will never despair

My answer was a moment

A vision, an experience

Whatever you want to call it

I was there

My body shaking, my cells vibrating

I was melting and frail

This is not what I knew of delight and happiness

These words are not enough

But I don't know of other words that I can share

Now all I do with my time is think

I want to go, up there

INTO THE WIND

Forget riding the waves
And try to ride the wind
With two legs, and two arms
The task is dangerous and challenging
They told you people were not made for flying
Yet a hurricane has carried heavier things
The question is how, you and the wind, can be friends

Open the windows
Listen to the wind chimes
Whisper to the air, your words of devotion and care
At the edge of the cove where the waves rage below
Stand to the wind and show your trust, as it runs its fingers through your hair
Put your sorrows and worries in a suit of light around you
Step out of it, and let the wind have it like it was theirs

Breathe, Breathe, Breathe

Let it flow everywhere inside you
Give it what it finds
Even if it hollows you

Be prepared for the unstable ride
One hour in the sky, and the next you're not there
Breathe when you fall
Breathe when you rise

There is nothing left to fear, when you've made the wind your friend
Listen to the sound of your inhale
Remember the shakings behind the howling, and a hurricane at the might of its dare
Remember the gentleness of the breeze, when a wind chime sweetly rings with flare

Listen to the sound of your exhale
It's yours, and there's no other sound like it in the universe
It's your command to the wind
Your unique choice of what to declare
There is nothing left to fear, when you've made the wind your friend
There is nothing left to fear, when you've learned how to inhale and exhale

INTO THE ESSENSE

I'm caught again in this tide
After I heard a tone
floating
it's much lighter than water
it's air
floating
it's much lighter than air
it's space
floating

Not as much stars as I remember
Am I still home
I am a tremendous being
I can reach anywhere
I can see why some would confuse it
with Godly powers and feelings
I can take in so many universes in my heart
Overfilled
I scream them out
floating

This pull, I can't escape it
I want it and need it
I starved in my waiting
I feel I belong here but I must leave it
floating

The morning will come and I'll wake up in my dear home of mud
I will see the faces, hear the words
and again feel alienated 
I belong, but I know
I've such little time, before I leave it
My nature is of this ground
But it makes me forget the whole of my being
A few moments to quench that deep yearning
floating

I feel as big as the universe
But for now, I'll have to fit
in this little beating
All drained, it's safe
grateful, for all of those feelings

INTO THE CORE

I'm feeling Translucent,

Like fog

Behind a window.

An intricate lace made of see through.

Delicate, 

like the sweetness of water after thirst.

The softness of love, 

felt when one comes undone.

The compassion felt deep in the soul,
deep enough to travel the cosmos,
and touch its floors.

I'm feeling tearing forces, 

These forces

that break a soul to pieces.

These forces,

that make a being dissolve.

Within all of it, here we are.
With the power of absolute strength we stand.

The fabric that will not tear.
Even when stretched beyond its source. 

This strength never softened the pain.

If anything it lets it travel,
everywhere, 

to every cell that feels.

So let the screams for God's help inside flow.

And let it all go and show,

that strength that torments, 
and will not let go.

Within all of it, here we are.
With the power of absolute strength we stand.

The lessons are learned.
This soul can stay whole.