INTO THE SURRENDER

Tick tock, tick tock,

My mind moves so fast.

My heart moves so slow.

It takes too long, to let go.

I feel young,

and old.

That hasn’t changed,

as the years go.

My soul outside time,

watches me.

Tells me,

my body grows old.

What is time?

I don’t know,

anymore.

In the mirror,

my image changes.

I am me,

in different stages.

Will I ever be a mother,

one that gives birth. 

Will I ever realize,

the dreams of my youth?

Waiting,

that terrible feeling.

Stuck,

while the rest  of the universe is moving. 

I try to stop it all, 

to catch up.

My heart can be so slow,

even when,

it’s cooperating. 

Part of me is eternal,

part of me is breathless.

I know time matters,

To it I’m helpless.

I’ll choose to be grateful.

I’ll choose to fill my time,

with kindness.

I’ll choose to float,

on the waves of thoughts.

I’ll journey as far as I can go.

I’ll rest, every chance I get,

and not regret that,

at all.

It would be nice, 

to feel loved sometime.

Time is meaningless.

Time is precious.

Take your time.

Resting on the waters,

of the tide.

You will get there.

It’s a journey to explore,

not to control. 

I will take my time.

Forget about time.

Just float,

with gratitude.

INTO THE TURN

I used to rely on my heart.

It was good in turning

against those who hurt me. 

But now,

it’s turned too soft.

When I was hoping,

it would protect me.

It’s good to let go of hurt.

But you take advantage,

of how I choose to stay kind,

to you.

So I will also,

to myself,

be kinder.

INTO THE COCOON

A bird was made to fly.

But first it needs to learn,

how to.

You were made to roam,

the vast universe,

with your mind and spirit.

But first you need to learn,

how to.

Instead of learning to roam,

we all learn,

not to.

I want to unlearn that,

and really go on,

to journey.

Every time I try,

what I feel distracts me.

My tears start running,

they try to wash me.

My body starts shaking,

it tries to unbound me.

I wish I had the help,

to remind me.

We were all made to roam.

Our beloved bodies are homes,

not prisons. 

So let’s not settle for that.

Unless we really,

have to.

INTO THE CHOICE

Were you thinking,

you broke my heart?

I bet you didn't know,

it was already in pieces.

The trick was going to be,

making it whole.

At the fork of my path,

I will not follow the herd.

In the footsteps of the few,

I'll take the grand leap.

My heart in pieces has opened its eyes.

Now my faith is not blind.

You've sat in class,

heard the lessons.

Will you take life's test,

and succeed?

It wouldn't be a bigger life,

if you didn't risk everything.

INTO THE SILENCE

Colors and numbers.

Colors and numbers.

Enough with words.

Enough with names.

And their powers.

I want to bathe in the silence.

Dive into the water.

Wash away,

faces in my mind.

Colors are all I need.

They wash over me.

Teal.

Blue.

Aquamarine.

My salvation.

White.

Black.

Light swirling.

My real life partner.

Colors wash my world.

I love numbers.

The beautiful order.

The comfort.

I can trust.

I can understand.

Numbers fill the world with laughter.

Colors and numbers.

Numbers.

Music inside my mind.

Colors.

Flashes inside my soul.

I can find peace.

Let my heart sleep.

Deepen the silence.

Colors and numbers.

Colors and numbers.

Colors and numbers.

INTO THE LESSON

Hope is like the sun.
A daily dose,
keeps you healthy.
Warm.
Stay in it too long,
it will burn you.

Stare at it,

it will blind you.

Disappointment,

one of the better outcomes.

Losing hope,

could be a lot worse.

Hope is like the sun.

If I spend the day hoping,

it burns too much.

Drunk on hope,

I soar.

Then, reality strikes.

I'll keep hope only,

for a few hours.

But what do I do,

the rest of the day?

Distraction?

Giving up?

Hope is like the sun.

Take it in,

in moderation.

Surrender,

the rest of the time. 

Will hope keep you 

from moving on?

Hope and acceptance,

wrapped up in one,

a balancing act,

made for the masters.

How am I ever,

going to be one?

One can keep trying.

One day at a time.

INTO THE WAVES

Today, I came prepared.

For days the sea has slammed me with raging waves.

One after one.

Today, the words I read were hard to understand.

A message from a thousand years ago.

A few pages.

Done so fast.

Little did I know, 

My soul was reading a lot more.

Now, I can hear the sea.

Asking, what did I come for?

Alone in the raging waters,

The sea demanded: 

Identify yourself!

It wanted to know.

I didn’t have the answers, I thought.

But my soul spoke.

The words of our long training, from before.

The words of the “Shahada” in my core,

Singing in my mind,

With love and joy, 

Enough to fill the whole world.

The sea gave back,

Love and softness.

The calm waters attracted the crowd in.

Those who came close, made me smile and joke.

I felt so loved by the sea.

I couldn’t step out and go.

For hours the sea spoke,

Wanting to teach me,

Something that it knows.

I will need it, where I will go.

Those who warn that the sea has no friends,

I don’t believe them anymore.